Finding Myself
- Feb 21, 2019
- 4 min read
2018 was probably one of the most changing years I have yet to come.
1) I went to prom
2) I got accepted into my "Dream" School
3) Graduated High School
4) Started College
5) Chopped my hair off
Though it might not seem like much it was an interesting year.
My High School years were the roughest four years of my entire life. I struggled with identity and I was incredibly shy. One of my weakness was that I always cared what people thought about me. I was a people pleaser. I still am. It's a work in progress.
Getting into BYU
In my entire high school years I knew I wanted to go to BYU. Growing up LDS it is automatically expected that you apply. Going to church I was surrounded my BYU alumni's and a constant talk about BYU football was always in play. When I would tell members of the other schools I was applying to they would reply with, "What about BYU?" Other members would assume I was not smart enough to get into BYU and I even had someone suggest to me about looking into community college. With this anger and annoyance I had to apply to BYU just to prove them wrong. After all BYU is apparently the "Ivy league" of the west. My Junior year I took the ACT for the first time and scored...well lets just say I scored haha. My senior year I got an ACT tutor and after three attempts and approximately $500 later I was able to score above average. I completed the application which was one of the longest applications I had yet to do. Satisfied I submitted my application and guess what? I got in! I am not going to lie it was one of the happiest moments of my life. I felt that I had accomplished something and starting a new journey in my life.
Going to Prom
Prom, Prom, Prom. Every High school student waits for this moment. I feel we all have these fairytale expectations of getting asked, and then riding of with the guy of our dreams in a carriage or some weird ish like that. For me I was excited about prom until the very month. I actually was not going to go. Thanks to amazing friends that I had they convinced me to go, and boy was I thankful for that.
NO:
I did not get asked
I did not get a custom made dress (got my dress for free!)
I did not get professional photographer
I did not get my make-up professionally done
I did get my hair professionally done. Even then I felt my brains were going to fall out because I had not gotten my hair professionally done in ages.
I feel a lot of girls get caught up in the idea of having such a fairytale experience that it honestly does not matter at the end of the day. On the day of prom my friends and I got ready together and my friends dad drove us. Prom was amazing. I realized that all this make-up and dresses did not matter. All that mattered was that we had fun which we did. From the moment we got there to the moment we left we only sat down three times. First when he reached prom. Second to eat, and Third when prom king and Queen were being crowned. The entire night was spent dancing, laughing and creating memories as a class for the last time.
Check out my prom vlog on youtube! (https://youtu.be/pCejvjzC4Yw)
Advice? GO TO PROM! WHETHER YOU GET ASKED OR NOT!
Graduation
News flash! GRADUATION IS NOT FOR YOU IT IS FOR YOU PARENT AND FAMILY. DON'T BE SELFISH!
Can you believe I did not want to go to Graduation either? I had serious issues no lie. haha. I felt as if I did not accomplish enough in High School when in fact did. There are so many people who drop out and I completed high school. I completed the awkward phase of my life, and I did not want to celebrate? Why? I don't know. Again mom and friends came to the rescue and knocked some sense into my big head.
Graduation is where I saw my class for the very last time as I knew I would never see these people I had been with for four years every again. It was indeed a bitter sweet moment. My best friends, mom, aunt and cousin attended my graduation. After graduation we had a small gathering in my tiny apartment. Though the moment went fast it was all truly amazing. Now it is all just memories.
College Girl
Just like that! From High School to college in a flash! Ya girl moved all the way from Jersey to Utah for school. Yeah I know that sounds crazy as heck, but I'm here and thriving...barely. The weather here is so dry and a black girls worst nightmare. Since I have been in college I have been able to make amazing friends, crash, go through mini depression, learn new things, go on dates, and so much more. I love my roommates they have helped me with so much and I could not imagine life without them. I am currently a communications major with a minor is psychology hoping to law school in the future. College has been a rude awakening. Going to school in Utah has not been easy( But that is a story for another day) as I said earlier it is a work in progress. I am still trying to find myself and my purpose in life. Specifically my purpose at BYU. I am hoping with hard work and patience I will be able to find it.
If you made it to the end thanks for reading I love you!.
xoxo- Des
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